N is for Narcissism
by Thrillzone
Summary: Speedy, I don't love you. You don't love me. You're in love with yourself, Aqualad told him. Am not, he replied, annoyed. ONESHOT. SpeedyxRobin, onesided SpeedyxAqualad.


The moment Speedy woke up that morning, he was ecstatic, and not to mention, very excited.

He was in such a hurry to get to the living room that he only combed his hair ninety-seven times instead of the usual one hundred. He only stared at his reflection for a brief ten seconds instead of twenty-five. And he didn't even stop to straighten his numerous pictures pasted on his bedroom wall.

That was a first.

Whistling as he placed the trademark black comb in his pocket, he rushed out of the room, only stopping to grab the gift-wrapped package on his bedside table.

"HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!" He greeted loudly as he found who he was looking for in the kitchen. Without waiting for a reply, he tossed the gift into his true love's hands, grinning.

"Good morning, Speedy," The Atlantean greeted pleasantly. He paused, noticing the gift, and stared at it.

"What's this?"

"Your anniversary gift!" Speedy replied as he smoothed out his clothing for no apparent reason.

"So it's been one year since we—" Aqualad was about to say 'met' before the overexcited archer interrupted him.

"—Became a couple!" The long-haired teen dropped the gift in surprise.

"I—What? We're… We're not a couple, Speedy." He said awkwardly. Surprisingly, the other teen looked unfazed.

"Of course we are! You love me and I love you!" Speedy chirped, his words sounding like they came straight our of the Barney show. The marine marvel continued to stare and briefly considered asking if the other boy was on drugs. Again.

"I… Don't love you, Speedy. I'm not even gay." The masked crime-fighter's face fell and he appeared shocked.

"You're not? But… You _look_ gay!"

"What is that supposed to mean!"

"You have long hair!"

"Just because I have long hair doesn't mean I'm gay!"

"You wear a unitard!"

"I _swim_, that's what swimmers wear!" Speedy began grasping at straws as one by one, his arguments had been shot down.

"You… You baked cookies for me during Christmas! And… You've never shown any interest in girls!"

"I bake cookies for everyone during Christmas, it's the only thing I know how to do," Aqualad said, feeling slightly embarrassed. "And has it ever occurred to you that maybe I just haven't met the ideal girl yet?"

"But… But… You love me," Speedy insisted weakly. "I'm irresistible, how can you _not_ love me? I _love you_!" Aqualad pressed a hand against his face in frustration.

"I don't love you, Speedy, and I don't think you love me either. In fact, I think you're in love with _yourself_."

"Am not," The red-haired boy replied distractedly as he stared at his reflection on the fridge. "I got you a present to prove my love for you." Aqualad shook his head and bent down to retrieve the gift. Without hesitation, he hastily tore the wrapping off and stared at the object.

"Speedy, this is a picture of _you_."

"No, it's not!" The archer snapped. "It's a picture of _us_." The swimmer looked more closely at the photograph and noticed something on the far right.

"It's just you and _my hand_, which can barely be seen!" The other Titan paused.

"…It's the thought that counts…?"

"Aargh!" Aqualad almost tore out his hair in frustration. Taking deep breaths, he eventually calmed down and faced the archer, his expression a serious one.

"You don't love me, Speedy. You love _yourself_, okay?" He said slowly. "And I'm sure you'll be very happy togeth—With _yourself_ – Maybe if you could find a way to _clone_-- Oh, forget it." Throwing up his hands, he began walking away.

"See you later, Speedy. I'm going for a swim."

After a few seconds of silence, the masked Titans East member left the room as well, feeling heart-broken as he had just been rejected by the only person he ever loved – or _thought_ he loved, apparently. He walked through the bare corridor, staring at the floor.

After a while, he lifted his head to see a familiar pair of masked eyes. For a moment, he thought he had almost walked into a mirror but he soon realized who it was.

"Oh… Hey, Robin," He greeted listlessly. "Why are you here?"

"Starfire's time-of-the-month," The other boy said simply.

"Ah." Robin's brows furrowed as he noticed that something was off about the other boy.

"Why so down?" He sighed dramatically before answering.

"Aqualad just rejected me and thinks I'm narcissistic and that I should clone myself or something and basically told me to go fuck myself. I mean, literally."

"That sucks."

"It does." Speedy looked down at the floor once more, and all was silent before he spoke again. "Wanna help me look for a cloning machine?"

"You can try Billy Numerous, but I have a better idea," Robin said with a smirk.

A couple of hours later, the two sat on the roof of Titans East Tower, sweating profusely. Their clothes and hair were ruffled, and they clutched each other, kissing roughly until they ran out of breath.

Speedy never stopped to check his appearance.

He kept his eyes on the boy opposite him, seeing familiar masked eyes, and the same messy hair.

"You know," He said breathlessly. "With both our hair messed up like this… You look just like me, 'cept your hair's black." Robin's smirk mirrored his.

"I guess you really _are_ in love with yourself, narcissist." Speedy punched him lightly before leaning in for another kiss.

-End-


End file.
